How to deal with a Cancer Scare [press version]

My brother died from cancer when I was 18 and he was 28. My mum died prematurely from cancer too. So after some long running symptoms [poor flow, needing to pee instantly] a sonar scan then an MRI scan did not look good. I was scared. ‘You may have prostate cancer, you may not. You need some biopsies then you will know if you are walking around with cancer or not’ said the cheery Dr. This was November last year, 2022. I had the extremely painful and uncomfortable biopsies, then I had to wait. Wait for the dreaded call.

I was on the Cancer Conveyor Belt.

Luckily I had recently completed a personal development course. On this course was the wise idea that when you have a serious thing going on in your life, start something equally massive [my interpretation] so the other thing does not dominate your thoughts. So, for example you have a break up, quit alcohol. Or in my case, when you are waiting for a call from the Cancer Consultant, do something radical.

As soon as I put the phone down from the Dr, I wondered what I could do. I love skiing and have skied since I was 14 [only the pandemic winters stopping me]. A few phone calls later and I had booked on a session that Tuesday at Rossendale Ski Racing Club and another with the ‘2k Racers’ at the same slope the following Thursday. Some research had me ordering a pair of brand new Dynastar racing skis. Extremely short at 150 cm for the extreme courses I was going to train on.

I was nervous when I rocked up at Rossendale. Most of the trainee racers were in their teens. Two were not. We were being taught how to slalom race, tight turns on a steep slope in between gates on springs that could smack you in the face. There is a lot to it – you get thirty seconds each run to focus on the technique. It all happens a bit quick but the simple version is you prepare to turn, not for the next pole, but two or three ahead.

It is intense, and whilst you are doing it, you don’t have time to wonder if you are walking around with cancer or not. You have to live in the moment. But even then I found myself wondering what I was having for my tea tomorrow as a ski gate hit me in the thigh! Concentrate boy!

After a few weeks, and having also learned how to service, wax and sharpen my own skis [something I have never done before] I was ready for a race. Stu from the club arranged for me to join two other guys at Pendle ski club. This hill, like Rossendale, was covered in plastic mats. We race on plastic!

‘Why are we doing this?’ I asked my teammates Barry and Paul. ‘To have fun’. ‘Ok let’s have some fun!’

After a few warm ups down the track, we entered 6 races. We did not win a single one. But we had a riot. Watching the other racers, their evident skill was incredible. As was the fact that some of them were only five years old! [The class we entered was Under 90, no joke].

I entered another race a few weeks later at the same place, where we won our first race. It was fantastic to win something! But the extreme friction of the plastic mats on which we raced made it hard work, and also scary. If you fall over on an artificial slope, you’re gonna’ get hurt!

Driving home, I dreamed of racing on some snow. Soon after we got a tonne of snow in England. Looking at the forecast, it was going to dump a load in the Alps too. So I booked a flight to Geneva and headed for Les Contamines which was one of the top three places forecast to get loads of snow.

On an early lift on the first morning, I happened to be talking to an eighty year old wearing a racing bib. ‘Are you in a ski race?’ It turns out he was entering the Esperance Ski Club of Geneva’s annual Giant Slalom. ‘Can I enter as a guest?’

A quick ski down to the race start on a particularly fierce hill, Pasqual the director agreed. ‘Get here for 11.45’. I just entered my first ski race on snow!

After some warmup runs and some new wax quickly thrown on my skis, I flew down to the start. I was not given the chance of a sighting lap. ‘Are you ready John? Trois Deux Un Go!’ My god no messing about here!

The training at Rossendale proved perfect. The track was sweepingly fast and wide. It had great rhythm which suited my skiing perfectly! ‘Aim for the gate ahead, not the next one’. You know, it felt pretty perfect, so much easier than skiing on those bloody plastic mats. I loved it, it felt solid. My slalom race jobbies were a bit short, but they felt fantastic being just a few weeks old. Rock solid!

On my second [and last] run, I was one second faster. I came in at 1 minute, 11.64 seconds.

It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Why oh why did I not take up ski racing earlier? Why do we put things off?! What lovely people and what a fantastic thing to do.

I asked for my position, but they would not give it to me. Did Le Visiteur from England embarrass a few Swiss racers? On my return I contacted the club:

‘Dear John, thank you for your e-mail. You know you did rather well. You came third!’

Third?! A podium on my first ever ski race on snow.

Am hooked and need to do that again! Oh, and the Cancer Guy called. The scan showed I had cancer but the biopsies proved I don’t. [So all you Oldie Men out there, get yourself checked!]

John is a film maker and screenwriter.