[Inspired by Spike Milligan – written with my daughter many years ago. Just found it.]
Oh Nina – the cleaner,
Has gone and run away.
I heard as she left shouting
‘Off to get some hay!’
Some Hay? Why I ask you,
Does she have a horse?
Or maybe she has gerbils,
That makes sense, of course.
Four months have passed now,
Since the cleaner ran away,
Someone said they saw her,
On holiday in Mandalay.
I didn’t know they had hay there,
In that place over the seas,
Maybe it’s somewhat cheaper,
Or maybe she likes the trees?
Oh Nina, the house now,
Is getting rather a mess,
There’s stew on the carpets,
And stuff all over your dress.
Socks hang from the curtains,
There’s Heinz Beanz on the door,
Spaghetti on the ceiling,
And undies on the floor.
I lost my belt six weeks ago,
My trousers keep falling down,
Oh Nina! E-mail the cleaner,
And get her to come round!
Finsbury’s fur is such a mess,
It’s full of Marianne’s tuna,
I wish I’d spotted the towel in the chimney,
I wish I’d spotted it sooner.
The mop has all gone rotten,
The brush has fallen to bits,
The cloth’s disintegrated,
The bathroom is the pits…
